a Cr3@t!ve 19th

I fall down, I get back up. I’m in and out. I’m up and down. I’m left and right. I’m right and wrong. I’m round and round. I’m home and abroad. I’m moving and still. I’m distracted and focused. I’m creating and consuming. I’m all around the freaking place.

I am paradoxical paradox which is a paradox in itself.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is to live in the moment. And as everything in my life usually goes, when I set my mind to something, I do it and I’m really good at it. Being present has given me deeper connections, better memories, and more joy in every moment. But with everything good, it’s hard not to recognize the bad. I wouldn’t change anything about this year. I’ve traveled the world, fed my mind with culture, my heart with friends and my stomach with food. And you would think that all this has inspired me to create more out of myself and my creative endeavors. I’ve been inspired again and again. Every time I step outside I am inspired by all I see and experience. But this constant go, this nonstop stimulation of my eyes, ears, and brain has sucked all the creativity from my mind. It’s as though from focusing all my energy on being present and taking in every detail of every moment, I’ve lost the mental flowers that once grew from stillness.

I have so many passions. So many ideas. So many things that I love to talk about. Things I’d love to take action on. Messages that need to be shared. Health, the environment, social justice, women’s issues, and so much more.

I realize that not many people even read this blog but that’s not the point. This is my personal online journal. A way for me to use writing as my creative outlet to speak about and take action on my passions. To learn more about things I’m interested in, put actions to my words, and cultivate creativity for myself.

As my 19th birthday approaches in less than a week, I want to give myself the gift of creativity. Starting on May 31st, 2018, until the calendar strikes 2019 on January 1st I will write every day. Write about something I did, something I saw, a person I met, something I learned, something I thought of, something I’m passionate about, something, anything. This is my challenge and my gift to myself.

It doesn’t have to be long, insightful, or even good. But it has to be something. If I get one good thing for every 5 pieces of crap, it will be enough. The point is not to be perfect, it is just to work hard, be consistent, and learn something.

Happy almost birthday to me! xo ~Bella